Twilight: The Graphic Novel, Volume I by Stephanie Meyer

***The Naughty Hottie is the author of this post***

twilight b dope, u b dope u 2 dmb 2 c it cuz u jus jlus

That's called text, yo, and if u dnt no u b dope 2 dmb 2 no yo cuz ed he b hot c, i do hm n he like it he like it, not cuz he mikey yo, cuz i hotty n no 1 say no to hotty not ed not ted not fred no 1 cuz i hotty b noty n i no dnt say no let m bite n frght his fangs alrght 2 nite he no how 2 suk dam rght o! ed bites ed bites n i let him yo neva no neva no not ed cuz he bled 4 me period

Text Interpretation (in case you're old)

Twilight is very good. If you don't think it's very good, then you're dumb, or you're just jealous that you couldn't write something as good as it and get paid tons of money for it.

What you're reading is called "text". If you don't know that what you're reading is text, then your streetwise intelligence is greatly lacking, or you're, like, elderly or something.

Edward is hot! I'll have sexual intercourse with him in a heartbeat (woo hoo!) and he'll like it, he'll like it. Not because he's like Mikey from that Life Cereal commercial, but because I'm the Ultimate Hottie and no one says no to the Hottie. Edward doesn't say no to the Hottie; neither does Ted or Fred say no to the Hottie. My high school football team didn't say no the Hottie either. No one says no to the Hottie. How come? Because I'm the Naughty Hottie and no one but no one says no to the Hottie because I never say no to no one either.

Let me bite you, Edward. Let me fright you! Your fangs will be all right tonight for sure! Because, Edward, you know how to suck it (darn right!).

OMG, Ed bites, he bites me ... and I let him! Oh God woo hoo!

You never know, you never know, you might like it if Ed bit you too, you never know. Ed bites my neck and I bite his and there's a lot of blood mingling between us. It's AWESOME!!!

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